More accolades for Dry Rot

So Long, And Thanks For the Brains Anthology review - DarkMediaCity

Twas the night before Christmas in The Luckett Compound

Twas the night before Christmas and all through The Luckett Compound not a creature was stirring nor to be found. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care when Jorge and Jaden heard a noise and came down to see who was there. "It must be Santa Clause that jolly old elf" said Jorge "hurry up Jaden let's and go see for ourself!" The kids came down with a leap and a jump down to the livingroom where they heard a great bump. They spun around in shock and awe both  overwhelmed and amazed at what they saw. All around smashing in windows and crashing in the front door zombies, zombies and zombies galore. The Luckett children stood in silence with chills afraid to move a muscle they huddled perfectly still. They both secretly wished they'd stayed in bed but now they were trapped and facing the undead. With bodies broken and torn asunder how these vile zombies could move was more than a wonder. From the top of the stairs came dad, mom and Kyle with all types of racket and clatter. Called dad "What's going on down here and you two had better not scatter!" Jaden chimed in "we're being attacked by Zombies that's whats the matter!" The Lucketts came together in the center of the room backing down to an empty fireplace fearing their doom. Zombies to the left and zombies to the right spoke Kyle "I cant believe we're being attacked by zombies on Christmas night!" Lorraine looked longingly at her husband her mate he must know something to save the family this fate. "Honey!" She cried "before it's to late you must know something we can not wait! You're a zombie expert your knowledge on this subject is abundant like wealth!" He looked to his wife "baby I'm so scared I'm about to shit on myself!" From above on the rooftop came a bang that made them all stop. There was movement on the roof from somewhere up top . Down the chimney came a red sack bursting at the seems filled with loot. Then came two legs and two feet each covered with a big black boot. The Lucketts smiled with glee then a pause it was their favorite Compound member none other than Santa Clause! "Merry Christmas Lucketts I've returned like a prodigal son!" Santa knelt down before the children "are you ready to have fun?" Then from his jolly red sack he produced a shotgun. "I've come here with cheer and presents to give stand behind me if you want to live!" The Lucketts stood there with looks of utter shock as Santa Clause stood and gave his shotgun a cock. On his rosey red face was a wiry grin it was time to the shooting begin. St. Nick knew the trick was to be oh so quick when sending the living dead dack to hell his belly shook with each powerful shell. With each massive golved mit he continued squeezing the trigger as fast as he could pull it. It was so clear even from the start as Santa blew zombie after zombie apart. That he was oh so skilled at delivering good will and knocking zombies down for the kill. Santa was a blur who moved with a streak decapitating any corpse within his reach. Finally the room stood quiet in a hush as Santa stood slient slightly winded from his bloodlust. With not a zombie left in the Lucketts humble abode Santa Clause took this time to reload. All about the room danced gunsmoke thick arcid and white as Santa said "Im gonna kill all these motherfuckers tonight! I love to spread peace and joy to every nation but I truly dispise those undead abominations. Mr. Luckett up to the broken windows you must put boards. For I fear We've not seen the last of this zombie horde." Under tree he tossed gifts before grabbing his bag for a quick lift he disappeared up the chimney quite swift. To his sleigh for a seat with nine prancing reindeer so awesome and neat. In a flash they were off and before he disappeared from sight. He cried "Merry Christmas to all and aim for the head if you want survive the night!" Jamal Lucketts mind was clouded with mist "when I get to work tomorrow they'll never believe this shit!"
Merry Christmas From The Lucketts

Its here Dry Rot!

Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: So Long, and Thanks for All the Brains

Come one come all!

So Long, and Thanks for All the Brains

Included here in this jam packed Anthology is a tragic yet beautiful story I wrote named "Dry Rot." Its set in Americas infancy against a back drop of love and a Lepor Colony. All based on an idea given to me by my lovely wife!

Yeah try and piece that together!

Coming soon in print and other eformats.

10 Things you never knew about survivors of a zombie apocalypse

10. Believe it or not people still have to go to the bathroom. Although no one ever mentions it.

9. Most people who think they'd survive a zombie apocalypse are so over confident. They usually die within the first 15 mins of the outbreak.

8. The vast majority of parents forget to include their own children in their survival plans. This is known as "TCAE" or "The Casey Anthony Effect."

7. After the Apocalypse "Fast Food" refers to people.

6. Survivors don't randomly have sex with each other. As fear of being eaten alive and an extreme lack of personal hygiene. Will just kill the mood in general.

5.During and after the apocalypse the primary reason humanity will go extinct is humans. For example people in a position of authority cops and especially military personnel become extremely untrustworthy. They actually become the enemy!

4. There is no logic to it but in a zombie apocalypse people who society considers abnormal and outsiders. Will out live everyone else.

3. People who are loud and obnoxious will die first. As they will draw tons of attention to themselves. On a side note not all of their deaths will be caused by zombies. Annoying bastards.

2. There will be thousands of people who are suicidal. Find a couple to hang with you and your party. You never know when a sacrificial lamb will be needed! Dont let a perfectly good suicide go to waste.

1. Trying anythin you've ever seen in a movie will get your dumbass killed. Why you dont have a stuntman, do overs and the zombies arent actors playing zombies. They are zombies playing eat the helmet running through the mall screaming.

10 things you never knew about zombies

10. Zombies have no problem with the rampant obesity or fat people. If I'm not mistaken they prefer us that way.

9. Zombies don't care about race, religion, politics or gender. They want us all to be one of them anyway.

8. Zombies who eat lawyers have been known to get sick to their stomach.

7. Zombies main source of food is stupid people. They like to catch people who are "tweeting."

6. Zombies secretly laugh at werewolves because they have fleas. Plus the crap in the woods and don't wipe.

5. Zombies like people who yell and make noise. Zombies are quiet you should be too.

4. Zombies always poop in their clothes and walk around in their own filth. They don't believe in personal hygiene. They stink!

3. Zombies don't plan things they hate plans. They believe no one should have plans for survival.

2. Zombies are like the IRS they never give up! They hound you come to your door and want more than their fair share.

1. Zombies hate vampires. They feel that vampires are self righteous emo punks. They laugh when vampires get all glittery!

Chapter Ten: By Dawns Early Light

Chapter 10: By dawns early light

Robert was slightly amused at Trevor's fear of sunlight. "For a creature who appears to be immortal he sure as hell has a fear of death." Robert thought to himself knowing that as a human you a raised to know that death can manifest itself in many forms and that tomorrow is promised to no man. He couldn't fathom what it would be like to live life everyday afraid of death. "Why didn't you inform me sooner Robert?" Trevor's words came as he raced forth. "Well you lordship I was as enthralled by the soap opera like drama as everyone else!" Robert was defensive his knuckles tensed on the wheel of the massive bus. "We have been driving all night and your mobile home here came with only a half tank of gas!" Trevor cast a gaze deep into the cocoa colored eyes of the garbage man, he wanted to gage his intentions. Robert simply stared back "well I was kindda hung up when we left if you remember Trevor!" No doubt this was some petty human attempt at a little revenge Trevor guessed.

Not knowing if Robert understood that all of their survival was dependent on them working as one, but Trevor also knew he too had accept that fact yet himself. He felt humans were now and would always be beneath him! "Well dear fellow if you require my assistance you will have to move quickly." The crew scrambled to come up with a plan since hitting the open roads outside of the great city of the dead and dying Chicago very few corpses had been observed in mass concentrations, but that was strictly due to the fact they were crossing sparsely populated farm country. Robert felt his edge slipping as he observed the road sign "Effingham 1 mile" The coach would make it fine on what was left but the city of Effingham, Illinois was nothing more than a series of densely packed truck stops. Here is where hundreds of truckers stopped as they traversed the Midwest getting anything they desired from Diesel to companionship and a bite to eat at a local McDonald's. Robert moved up the ramp with the once white beast and decided to drive through town to the farthest gas station taking a chance he could help them avoid as much undead company as possible.

"Rob what are we going to do?" Val inquired cautiously of the man she'd begun to develop a serious attraction to. "I'm thinking Val hopefully we can be quick about it.” He felt her hand tremble upon his shoulder, so he placed his large calloused paw on her slim hand for comfort. "Jim....Trevor!" Rob summoned them each as he bounded to the front of the bus. Robert looked to Trevor first "can you fly ahead there is a Hupcup Gas Station about a mile up. Scout the lay of the land and kill anything there before our arrival!" Trevor answered "yes!" deftly removing a silk shirt as his bare chest heaved. The winged creature of folklore and legend seized his sword and left the humans in the coach via the roof hatch. "Jim you'll pump and I'll watch you back!" Jim was more than ready to prove his geeky merits to Li Lee. "Val sit in the driver’s seat with the engine going and door sealed OK!" she gave him a look of sheer confusion. "But I..." her protests stifled by Rob, "but my ass Val one hand on the door handle one foot on the brake. Any problems gas it Trevor will take care of you two!" Val wasn't having the heroics thing befuddle her plans now was the time. "I don't want Trevor to take care of me." She let the tears well up in her eyes "that’s your job Robert." He finally had no words or smug comments to save him he had to be serious with her. "I'll be fine Valerie I swear, I swear I'll watch over you." He was face to face with her as she leaned into hi gently kissing his rough lips. Rob felt a charge invigorate his senses the way a young boy fells after his first kiss like someone had place a bolt of lighting in his belly.

On a mission to save his kind and protect his charges the vampire prince Trevor Clevantes could not recall a time in his life when he'd been out and exposed so close to the wicked one's appearance in the sky. He kept a leery eye focused on the eastern edge of the world this is where the wicked one perched it's self in order to make ready the transition from day to night. He flew out ahead of the bus passing high above scattered numbers of the living dead. The air was still cool as his leathery wing propelled him on sword clasped in one hand blond hair trailing him whipped by the wind. He saw the dim sign its white lettering blinking off and on the "Hupcup Gas" sign jutting into the air and in the station a half dozen reanimated flesh seekers. To the east flying high over the city of Effingham Trevor saw the coach in the distance it would come thought the city's meager downtown, and exit via the west which was open road and nothing more. The winged figure went into a dive live a falcon having spotted its exposed prey the sword trailed him by his side. Like the angle of death he beset the dead in the immediate vicinity.

The first corpse that of a male dressed in an attendants uniform was slice in two from the waist up it right and left half's falling apart for eternity. Coming to rest atop a car hood Trevor moved with a sense of urgency through the dead ranks. The vile things came closer drawn by his life confused by his appearance to them as neither kin nor food. With an arching swath from his perch he decapitated two monstrosities fell unmoving to the pavement. Trevor bared his claws posturing up to his full height resembling a biblical demon a fetid hand reached for him and was torn from its socket. Driving his razor tipped nails into the zombie’s brain Trevor's sword lashed out into the face of nurse whose nose had been bitten off. Both fell dead by a vampire’s hand. Trevor felt the earth shake as the bus came seeing the pumps blocked by driverless vehicles. The owners of the abandoned cars all of whom were undoubtedly now among the walking undead. Cervantes jabs his weapon into the concrete where the weapon stands throwing himself behind the nearest vehicle and pushes. The battered full sized sedan rolls back under the superhuman strength of the young vampire. He hears a hiss whirling to catch a zombie to close for his taste with a right hook he smashes the new comers skull "Filthy creature!" he utters with obvious disdain.

A van turned sideways wedged in by two cars proves to be more of a challenge. Trevor begins to surge forward applying enough force that the vans side crumples inward. Palm sized indentations pressing in. Trevor’s inner beast takes hold driven by the fear of the wretched one. His feet jam into the cement fracturing the old weathered concrete as claws burst forth from the vampire’s feet. Trevor growls aloud as his muscles are fed pure fear driven adrenaline. His mass increases two fold the creature heaves its weight into the cargo van. Repositioning itself like a forklift as his arms lengthened underneath the vehicle the ungodly beast flips the van easily onto its roof. Unseen by the arrogant vampire animal a corpse leaps through the damaged vans rear door in a blur of pure reaction the flying putrid postman is caught in mid air and swung with bone snapping force into an advancing trio of zombies. The decimated bodies are propelled outward like a bomb blast. He releases the Postman and its corpse flies into the side of a building on the other side of Effingham’s Main Street. Trevor’s body resets itself quickly shrinking back to normal momentarily disorientating the young prince. Trevor waves the coach in suddenly observing the light cresting the horizon in terror thicker than he's ever know Trevor Cervantes snatches his grand father’s sword from the earth which holds it and vaults into the still moving bus. "IS EVERYTHING SEALED!" he screams moving through the coach. Robert is pleased to see the fear in the eyes of the great and mighty all powerful Lord Trevor. "I am afraid you'll have to go this round without my assistance Robert!" Trevor extends a hand it’s cover with zombie gore, but that’s not why Robert doesn't return the gesture with gratitude. Its his hatred of submission to the egotistical blood sucking being Trevor crawls deep into the buses inner recesses as Robert and Jim spring forth to refuel their transport.